Her ears buzz, day and night, like a wasp has taken up residence in her brain.
The solution? Call whoever it takes to get rid of it. No matter what the cost.
If you love stories that leave you glancing over your shoulder with a chill down your spine, don’t miss The Wasporcist.
The Wasporcist
Today.
My ears won’t stop ringing. it’s been a week now—ever since Halloween, actually. That party was insane. I prob’ly shouldn’t have let that guy pour me a drink, even if he did compliment my outfit.
But anyway, the ringing. Every noise echoes in my left ear with a weird, computerized-voice-over effect. It’s especially bad in a crowd, since the echoes get so loud I can’t understand what anyone is saying.
I went to the doctor today. She says nothing’s wrong. I think she thinks I’m making it up.
Nov 8.
Ear ringing persists. It’s like the electricity in my brain is going mad, buzzing so loud I can hear it.
Will my brain explode, I wonder?
Day after yesterday.
The buzzing is so loud now I have trouble hearing anything else. At least it means I can’t hear things echoing.
First day of the rest of forever, in which I never hear again.
Have determined that my brain has been replaced with a wasp, and it’s mad at being trapped in my pitiful skull, hence continuous buzzing. Must see an insectologist, or whatever it is that they’re called, to get it out.
Nov 13.
It’s Friday. I should have known that was a bad start. Insectologist, who is apparently actually called an entomologist, tells me that wasps don’t live in people’s heads. I told him I’m always an exception. He told me to call a shrink.
Had shrink. Didn’t work. Besides, I don’t need a shrink, I need a waspinator. I wonder what they’re called. Let me check.
Internet says exterminator. How dull. I vote in favour of waspinator. Let me go call one.
Another day.
Waspinator should be coming today, wootwoo. I am so SICK of this buzzing. I swear, the thing is driving me insane. Even Josh thinks I’m acting weird, and he’d know, he’s the King of Weird.
Oh, knock at the door. That’ll be the Waspinator. I’ll report back in a minute.