I’m in limbo. If you’ve been here the last few months and/or on my Instagram, you’ll know that. Terminal cancer (that I fully intend to recover from), not working, yada yada yada.* So it’s a particular kind of limbo, but also it’s not, because I know other people who are in different specific circumstances but a similar kind of “I have no idea what my future will look like” kind of limbo, you know?
I know what I want; it’s what I’ve always wanted. A creative life. Autonomy. Creative impact.
But looking at what I have capacity for these days, it’s so hard to see how this connects to that. And that’s not a me-specific thing: I think all of us who have dreams that don’t match up with The NormTM struggle to see how the tiny baby steps we’re capable of taking right now could ever lead to that Thing we’re secretly (or not so) longing for.
IDK. Maybe people with more socially acceptable dreams feel the same way too.
There is no grand point here 😀 Just a note on the fact that as I sit here every day, slowly picking away at things like inventing languages for the Veiled Worlds or worldbuilding or sloooooowly writing stories or learning about writing and DnD and other storytelling things – as I learn to lean in to enjoying my days without the frustration of not being able to produce as much in a day as I used to, I’m choosing faith over fear.
Faith that these tiny steps will add up to something bigger.
Faith that I’m moving at the right pace, and not too slowly.
Faith that all these things will culminate right at the moment they are meant to.
Faith that the best days of my life are yet to come.
Faith that my dreams are achievable, that it’s not too late, I’m not too incapacitated, that – yes – these tiny steps will add up to something big enough over time.
I invite you to choose faith in your path too – and thanks for joining me on mine. <3
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