Oof, this one’s rough. But it’s *worth* it. I remember too clearly that heading-for-burnout mental state where everything felt urgent, everything felt critical, nothing felt like something I could afford to drop. I used to make records of my time, trying to justify (to who?) why I felt so exhausted: See! Look! No spare time, not even 5 minutes! I *can’t* employ XYZ strategy, I don’t have *time*!
And, to be fair, the things I’m talking about weren’t all of my own making: hard deadlines for school/work projects, parenting things I needed to do, deadlines for kids’ schools, appointments to book and attend… The list went on. And on. And on. And I sat there, crying, *I can’t let any of this go*!
Of course, the inevitable happened: when you have more on your plate than you can do in a week, you *don’t get it all done*. Balls drop, only you’re not the one choosing which ones, so they bounce or they shatter and all you can do is snatch after them with arms too short and pray, pray, with ever-increasing desperation, that somehow, *somehow*, someone will see what you’re going through.
For me, it was God who saw me. For you, it might be the universe, or a specific friend or family member – or me, here, right now, if that’s what you need. But in being seen, what I learned was this: I have agency. Instead of frantically chasing after constantly dropping balls, I can *choose* which balls I put down in any given week. I will *always* have a longer to-do list than I have time in a week – because my brain is creative, and amazing, and bursting with care for the world and ideas to nurture and grow. That’s a gift… if I use it right. Otherwise? It was literally killing me.
So: What if I dared you to drop a ball on purpose?
Because the other thing I learned? Even glass balls sometimes bounce. Even that appointment you *had* to make, the *hard* deadline, the signature that was *required*… Even those are more mutable than you think – if you have the audacity to believe that your needs matter to the universe too.
And if the glass ball should shatter? Well. That’s entirely survivable.
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