This seems to be the universe’s message to me at the moment, a reminder that writing, this thing I love, will never be fall-off-a-chair easy, but that that doesn’t mean it isn’t the right path for me. As Maggie Stiefvater pointed out the other week in her Tumblr response to my question, it’s easy sometimes to romanticise a writing career – or, in fact, any career, any goal we are seeking. If we can just get this thing, this lifestyle, this next step on the ladder, life will be so much more perfect…
But the reality, life is always life. There are unexpected heartbreaks, unplanned disasters. People hate you, people love you, people don’t know you exist. Michelle Davidson Argyle said it perfectly.
[A]nything I love as much as this will require the same amount of effort, pain, and dedication. So why not this? Why. Not?
Of course. Why not? I’m going to do something hard with my life, because the hard things are the worthwhile things (often), and as Ilona Andrews says, “if it wasn’t hard, I wouldn’t have so much fun doing it.” It’s the challenge that I love, the thrill of having accomplished something difficult, and this means that no matter what I am doing, there will be moments when I look at the task and ask, “Why? Why am I beating myself to death trying to do this Thing? No one else cares!”
I care. That’s important. Michelle, in my own words: Anything I love will hurt. That’s the nature of loving – people, animals, tasks. What I love will hurt. So it might as well be this.
Amy, I love Maggie’s answer to your question. Unlike her, I don’t write on the weekends or holidays, though. I used to, but when I realized I wasn’t even living a LIFE anymore, and I was so burned out I resembled a piece of charcoal, I decided to change that. I can’t write if I’m not living, you know? It’s different for everyone, I think. Some people just take long vacations instead of regular breaks.
I do hope you keep on keeping on! What you’re doing now is as good as it gets, I promise. No matter what happens in the future, you’ll keep writing, and that’s the dream right there, no matter what anyone else or society tries to convince you.
*hugs* Thanks, Glam. I think I was just afraid that if I committed to writing, I’d just end up burning out on that too, y’know? Like I did last year, in fact, when I had to quit for a while 😛 😀 And that was scary. Because a writing career is hardly a stable predictable one. So why would I want as my life goal something that was unstable, unpredictable, and that I might end up burning out on?! HA!
Of course, having talked it over with various people and read some great posts, your included, I feel more confident now that I will not burn out, not in an absolute sort of way 😉 😀